August 23, 2011

Growing in Jesus

"Expect to encounter adversity in your life, remembering that you live in a deeply fallen world. Stop trying to find a way that circumvents difficulties. The main problem with an easy life is that it masks your need for Jesus."
-Sarah Young, Jesus Calling daily devotional.

Deep sigh, this was such a beautiful reminder for the day. I feel like whenever something unexpected and unpleasant comes up in life, all I want to do is fix it. That, or, I immediately crawl into a deep hole that is my silence and grumpiness, and I let it scratch at me 'till I bleed. If I can't handle it, or simply do not want to try, it consumes me completely. I can't enjoy life while it ruins me, so I push myself back up and attempt to make it go away. Upon doing this, I always find myself in the same spot: incapable, feeling powerless.

I shouldn't be relying on my flawed self to save me. I need to depend completely on Jesus. Moments like this are the there for that exact reason, to be reminded of how much we need God's helping hand in everything we do. We're not superheroes, possessing supernatural powers, we're not all-knowing, we're not omnipresent. We are sheep. And He is our shepherd. Living without Him is dangerous and, well, stupid.

Honestly, how many times do I need to be told this? Do I really forget that often? I do. I always do. God's word, and His teachers' sermons, touch my heart so deep I can feel His arms around me in that very moment. I am inspired, motivated to step outside and take on the world with Jesus holding my hand. I want to shout it from the top of the medical building I work at. I long to sing praises to His Name day and night.

But an hour goes by... And I forget it all, the uplifting feeling fades.

That spiritual high seems to leave my body, the world's distractions overwhelm my every thought. Each word that exits from my mouth sounds empty and foolish. Where does the fire go? Why can't it continue to burn bright in me. Why does it have to be always.

Oh, world. I need more Jesus, and less of you.

"He that dwells in the secret place of the Most High
shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty"
Psalm 91:1
- more of that, would be more than enough.

Love what Jesus is teaching me. Growth isn't always easy, but it's worth every bump in the road it took to get me there.

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