|Oh baby, where are you?|
And yet, I am blessed. Because I do not have to depend on my own strength, but on God's strength living in me. I know I can do this, it's just such a struggle.
I miss running. I miss the beautiful feeling of going faster going farther than yesterday. I miss those delicious, filling, rich green monster smoothies. I miss how good they taste, how amazing my body feels afterwards. I miss being different at work - the only one who cares less about the junk food, and inspires people to eat fruit instead. I miss being the different one - who never goes out to eat, always cooks delicious meals, and feeds my hubby. I miss cooking for him, cooking for us, and loving it. I miss making him smile with new dishes, his same ol' favorite dishes. I miss him. I miss him. I miss feeling strong, alive, awake. I miss those incredible workouts in the gym. I miss pushing my body to grow stronger - doing things I was never able to do before. I miss growing. I miss loving my body. I hate it now. I miss a life of zero headaches, of a happy body working the way it should - on all plants and no garbage. On exercise. I miss it so much. I miss Green Lake with Edu. I miss surprising him with my time. I miss races. Racing with him - training Saturday mornings. I miss waking up before 5am to run at the high school track with him. I miss seeing him at every lap, being inspired and motivated. I miss growing with him. I miss being happy about life, excited about life, inspired by other people's lives. I miss talking to God and thanking Him. All I do now is ask Him to help me.
I miss it all so much.